Cyber-bullying: What Every Parent Needs to Know
By Chris A. Plantarich, RN, BSN, CCRN
The Cyber-bullying Problem
Cyber-bullying occurs when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has become a new and vicious way for kids to torment other kids. Cyber-bullies can be a bully one minute and a victim the next due to sometimes very quick retaliation against the offender.
The problem of cyber-bullying is huge and complex.
- One study showed 9 out of 10 kids use the internet and approximately 9% of those youth were targets of cyber-bullies.
- Researchers surveyed 1,500 5th to 8th graders from the 2003-2004 school year. They found that 42% have been bullied while online, 1 in 4 have had it done more than once and 58% had not told their parent or another adult about something hurtful that happened to them online.
- Fight Crimes Inc. released a study in 2006 which showed 1 in 3 teens, ages 12-17, and 1 in 6 preteens, ages 6-11, had mean, hurtful, or embarrassing things said about them on the internet. Seventy percent of cyber-bullied teens received their cyber-bully messages while at home, and 45% of preteens who were cyber-bullied received their messages while at school. Approximately 13 million children were cyber-bullied in the year of this study and over 2 million children told no one about it.
- Another study showed that girls were twice as likely as boys to be the offenders and victims of cyber-bullying and that 62% had been victimized by a student at school.
- Finally, studies show that those who were cyber-bullied were more likely to cyber-bully other kids.
What Can be Done Preventively
Parents play the most important role in keeping kids safe on the internet. Kids and parents can create a contract that lays out the rules of being online, including:
- not talking to or accepting cyber-messages from strangers;
- not provoking fights or passing on hurtful messages;
- not stealing content found online, such as music or programs;
- not sharing personal information;
- using “netiquette,” a term used to describe polite and courteous online behavior;
- telling an adult if they are being cyber-bullied.
In addition, parents can keep computers in common areas of the house so that monitoring can occur more easily and naturally, and can restrict incoming communication with the use of software or programs designed to filter out bad or unknown internet users.
What Schools Can Do
Until now, schools have had no right to discipline kids who cyber-bully unless it is done on school property, which the majority of it is not. Incidents that occurred off school property were being brought to the attention of the schools, but due to fear of litigation, schools did not have any say in the discipline process since it did not involve the school directly.
However, to combat this problem, the federal government is considering legislation to make cyber-bullying and harassment a crime and for schools to discipline the offender if it affects their students, even if it did not occur on school property. The justification is that cyber-bullying can disrupt the normal school process. For instance, if a child is at home and sends an instant message to another child at school via the school’s computer and it creates a problem with the recipient while at school, the school has the right to intervene. Also, the school might have to shut down the computer to investigate who sent the message, thereby preventing other students from participating in computer-based assignments and research.
Another important factor in prevention of cyber-bullying is the role of school counselors, who can help create and implement education programs for students about what cyber-bullying is and what they should do if they are bullied online or know of the occurrence of such bullying.
Schools need to involve both parents and students in the implementation of anti-bullying campaigns. Schools that do not have policies against cyber-bullying need to develop approaches to this problem that include disciplining a student who cyber-bullies and providing a way for students to anonymously report incidents.
What to Do if Cyber-bullying is Occurring
Parents need to be alert to the possibility that their child is at risk of being cyber-bullied. They need to look for changes in the child’s behavior and determine if he or she is spending more or less time online, if the phone bill has increased, or if their child appears depressed.
Parents need to talk to their children in a clear, straightforward, and honest way about the situation, letting them know that they are strong sources of support and help. It is also important for parents to take a strong and unequivocal stance against any form of cyberbullying so that their children know exactly where their parents stand on the issue.
Children and teens need help in preventing further abuse before the situation gets out of control. Kids need to be reminded that spreading the hurtful messages to others will only cause the problem to escalate. Screen shots of the materials posted should be taken or email and instant messages should be saved. The abuse should then be reported to the school so personnel there can help deal with the problem.
The National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC) states that a positive way for students to stop cyber-bullying is to block the communication by not opening the email, not responding to it, or reporting the abuse to the web moderator or Internet Service Provider. Students can also help prevent cyber-bullying by telling the cyber-bully to stop.
After both the offender and victim are identified, the healing process can begin and the children involved can receive counseling so that the situation can end peacefully with no lasting effects.
Web Resources for Parents
http://www.wiredsafety.org/
http://www.ncpc.org/newsroom/current-campaigns/cyberbullying
http://cyberbully.org/
http://www.cyberbullying.us/
http://www.schoolsafety.us/
http://www.sshs.samhsa.gov/
References
Fight Crimes: Invest in Kids Inc. (2006). 1 of 3 Teens and 1 of 6 Preteens Are Victims of Cyber Bullying. Retrieved July 2, 2008 from the Fight Crimes: Invest in Kids website: http://www.fightcrime.org/releases.php?id=231
i-Safe Inc. (2008). Cyber bullying statistics and tips. Retrieved July 3, 2008 from the i-Safe Inc. website: http://www.isafe.org/channels/sub.php?ch=op&sub_id=media_cyber_bullying
Kowalski, R., Limber, S., Scheck, A., Redfearn, A., Allen, J., Calloway, A., Farris, J., Finnegan, K., Keith, M., Kerr, S., Singer, L., Spearman, J., Tripp, L., and Vernon L. (2005). Electronic bullying among school-aged children and youth. Cyber-Bullying-Coming-To-A-Cell-Phone-Near-You. Retrieved July 3, 2008 from the Kamaron Institute’s website: http://www.kamaron.org/index.php/p/99/t/Cyber-Bullying
National Crime Prevention Council (2008). Delete cyberbullying. Retrieved June 25, 2008 from the National Crime Prevention Council website: http://www.ncpc.org/newsroom/current-campaigns/cyberbullying/
WiredKids, Inc. (2008). What is cyberbullying, exactly? Retrieved June 25, 2008 from the WiredKids, Inc. website: http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/what_is_cyberbullying_exactly.html
Ybarra, M.L., Mitchell, K.J., Wolak, J., & Finkelhor, D. (2006). Examining characteristics and associated distress related to internet harassment: Finding from the second youth internet safety survey. Pediatrics, 118, e1169-e1177
