Understanding Temperament: Adaptability
Do you have children who seem to take a long time before they feel comfortable with new places or new things? Do they have a difficult time adjusting to changes in their routines or coping with surprises? Conversely, do you have children who are very flexible and do not seem to be phased by new things, schedule changes or surprises?
The degree to which your children are adaptable is one of ten innate temperament traits that makes every child unique. By being aware of how easily or not so easily your children adapt and by learning strategies to manage this temperament trait, both you and your children will cope more successfully as changes occur.
What is Adaptability?
Adaptability refers to how easily or quickly your children adjust to changes in their environment after their initial response has occurred. Some children are very flexible and are able to progress smoothly and quickly after they encounter a change in schedule or routine. They are also able to accept new items or ideas easily and without much fuss. Other children, however, have a more stressful time transitioning.
This temperament trait is closely tied to the trait of approach/withdrawal, which refers to children’s initial response or reaction to new things, ideas, places and people. Most children who are slow-to-adapt are also more likely to withdraw when first confronted with new ideas and those who are quick to adapt initially tend to be more receptive.
How can you determine how adaptable your children are?
Use the following questions to help you identify how adaptable your children are. Track your answers on the following scale from one to five:
- Do your children cry and get upset when you ask them to finish an activity and move on to something else?
- Do surprises upset your children?
- Do your children find it stressful to change ideas or routines?
- Do you feel like you have to coax or beg your children for days to get them involved in new activities?
- Is it difficult for your children to make decisions and when they do, do they agonize over their choices?
No Yes
1 2 3 4 5
Adapts quickly Adapts slowly
Adaptability
If the majority of your responses fall to the right side of the scale, then you have children who, temperamentally, are slower to adapt. This means that your children have a more difficult time coping with changes in routines and schedules. They tend to be more rigid when it comes to making adjustments in their daily lives and often tantrum or cry when asked to conform before they are ready or have had a chance to get used to the change. These children may be more resistant to and uncomfortable with the introduction of new activities or ideas or outings. This can feel disappointing if you are excited about something but your slow-to-adapt children are not. It helps to keep in mind that slow-to- adapt children eventually warm up to new ideas; they just need a little more time to feel comfortable than their more quick-to-adapt peers.
Slow-to-adapt children also have difficultly being comfortable around new people, new ideas and new items, like the new neighbor who moved in next door or the new pajamas that they just got for their birthday. In addition to your support and encouragement to be more flexible, it helps to give them information to help them feel more comfortable. By letting them know what is coming up and what to expect, these children can “warm” to anticipated changes. Forewarnings and timers can assist these children with making transitions. For example, if you are planning a trip to the store, you can verbally warn the child you will be leaving in 15 minutes, and/or you can set a timer and let them know that when it goes off, it will be time to leave. The good news about slow-to-adapt children is that they thrive on the predictability of routines. They are also less likely to rush into dangerous situations and are less influenced by peer pressure.
If, on the other hand, most of your responses to the questions above fall toward the left side of the scale, then you have children who, temperamentally, are more adaptable. They tend to move smoothly from one activity to another and adjust more quickly to changes in schedules and routines. These children are easier to parent because they “go with the flow” and are more flexible. They are more likely to enjoy the novelty of new schedules, activities and ideas. Transitions to move from one activity to another seem to occur more easily as well. However, because these children seem almost too quick to react, they can be impulsive and may need encouragement to slow down and think before they act.
Things Parents Can Do
- Understand that adaptability is a part of your children’s in-born temperament.
- Be aware of how your children react to transitions and changes and use this information to help engage their cooperation.
- Help to monitor when changes or transitions become too overwhelming for your children and help them to find ways to calm down and adjust.
- For slow-to-adapt children, give forewarnings and information to assist with making transitions occur more smoothly, so that he knows what will happen next and what behavior is expected. These children need to learn to become more flexible so that they can adjust better to changes; small changes a little at a time can ease them into being more comfortable with new routines.
* Give your child time to get used to a new situation; don't expect immediate compliance.
* Use the idea of watching the clock or having a timer that determines when activities have to be changed.
* Encourage children to join activities without putting any pressure on.
* Explain the sequence of events for outings or trips so your slow-adapting child knows what to expect.
* Bring a snack, a favorite toy with you on outings to help your child feel more comfortable when youhave to quickly change tasks.
- For quick-to-adapt children, teach them to think and use caution before jumping in or going along with new ideas or changes. They need to learn to think independently and to assert themselves if they don't want to do something.
- Teach children the words to use to express how they are feeling more accurately and appropriately.
- Learn to work together. Understand how your own temperament, including your own adaptability, fits or does not fit with your children’s temperament and create strategies to help each other.
- Identify and value your children’s unique temperament and help them to understand the value of their uniqueness.
- Send messages to your children that help them to feel good about who they are, messages such as:
- “Change is difficult for you.”
- "You like to know what to expect before you have to do it."
- “You can learn to be flexible.”
- “You enjoy activities.”
- “You can stop and think before you act.”
